Annie Thoe's Feldenkrais Blog

July 20, 2008

SUN 20 JUL

From Istanbul to Seattle - Culture shock By Annie Rachel Thoe

Merhaba (hello),
    I arrived back in Seattle two days ago and for the first time in many years am really experiencing jet lag.  Perhaps it was the final mystical days in Turkey that have kept me connected to that time zone and the strangeness of being back in America.  I feel like I don't fit the same into my "old" clothes now and am assesing my lifestyle and choices.

    My brother picked me up at the airport and when we took my bags to the parking lot, I stared at the car he drove.  It looked familiar and I realized, it was my car.  I forgot I had one!  After spending 6 weeks walking, bicycling, taking buses, taxis, and surrounding myself with people who did not really use cars, I really forgot about the need to drive.

   I had a strange feeling when I opened the door of "my" car to get in.  I thought, "Wow, this is really a nice car I have."    Especially after leaving Istanbul where the majority of the 15 million people there do not have cars and wouldn't even dream of owning one.  I felt incredibly rich and the realization of what Americans have dawned on me as I sat in my car and thought of all the Turkish people I had met and how I take for granted the lifestyle I have.  Gas in Turkey (and Greece) is about $12/gallon.  People don't drive around frivolously.  There were virtually no powerboats or sailboats on the waters-- even though the sea was gorgeous, islands are plentiful, and the sailing must be wonderful.  This was true in Greece as well.  I asked the locals about why there were so few sailboats out on the waters. Most shrugged and looked at me like "why would people be sailing just for fun?"  Perhaps it's the price of gas as well as the economy there that prevents people from sailing and boating.  Entertainment is more localized, within walking or busing distance. 

    The other strong impression I had in Turkey regarding entitlement and our American spoils was in watching their children.  Turkish children do not have ADD.  They sit quietly and seem content for long periods of time just watching the world around them.  I've taken long (12-15 hour) bus rides and the kids were quiet and easy the whole trip.  I never saw a tantram or a child acting disrespectful.  They played and hung out a lot with elders and parents.  They weren't watching DVDs or playing with gameboys or listening to IPODS.  In fact, I only saw a few MP3 players on my entire trip.  One 20-year old Greek guy I talked to in Mykonos told me that he used to watch TV and play games on the computer but he hated what it did to his brain.  "It sucks the life out of me," he said, "I've stopped watching TV and spend time talking with my friends instead.  I feel like I am missing life."

    In Turkey, when you go out at night, you'll seldom see people sitting alone.  They are usually in groups, sipping tea and talk.  Some playing backgammon.  Greece was similar, just people drinking more ouzo instead of tea and talking with louder voices.   And if you are sitting alone, someone will usually come up to you to talk.  It's such a social culture.  This is a big difference from America where people live so far from one another and the individual is more important than the group.  Other tourists who traveled with their spouse or friend asked me, "Has it been hard traveling alone?  " 

    "No- not at all," I said. 

    "Do you get lonely?" they ask. 

    "Hmm," I tried to remember..  Just to appease them I said, "Well, maybe for 5 minutes, I felt lonely on the trip."  It was true-- except it was even less.  I remember feeling lonely once for the duration of one thought.   I felt much more lonely in the states where people are so busy and distracted, they don't have the attention or patience to give you.  But in Greece and Turkey, people have time to watch and listen.  Even if people weren't talking to me, I felt them watching me and something is comforting knowing that people see you and are curious.  They smile back and want to talk with me.  My entire trip, I felt so connected to the people wherever I was.  I wasn't lonely.  Even in the airport at Istanbul, a Turkish woman asked me, "how was your stay?" and her eyes sparkled with such joy.  I said, "Wonderful.  I love your culture and the people."  She said, "We have big hearts," and she opened her arms wide to me and I smiled with tears in my eyes.  What a wonderful thing to feel this about your country and people.

Of course, people all over the world have big hearts and certainly at home in USA.  I love my country and the people here.  I also experience in the United States that people seem often distracted and self-absorbed to a degree that I feel invisible to them and this is a primary difference in the cultures.  Our materialistic achievements and focus here have left much to be desired.  The more you have, the less you can see and feel.

    There was a family from Dubai on one of my tour days in Istanbul, one of the richest countries on the planet.  We had lunch at the same table.  The Dubai family were all dressed with the most current designer, cool clothes and sunglasses.  Their three boys were a little overweight (very few people in Turkey are overweight) and squirming uncomfortably and irritably in their chairs.  The mother, wearing a traditional Muslim black scarf over her head looked very bored and depressed.  She was the first woman I met who really looked depressed.  The father treated the boys like princes and I could tell by how he asked them what they wanted to drink, they got whatever they wanted.   The waiter brought us a set menu lunch (part of the tour) and the kids complained and wouldn't touch the food.  They talked back to their parents in a disrespectful tone that I felt embarrassed for the parents who were used to this behavior.  This was the first time I had seen "spoiled" kids on my trip.  However, I thought for a moment and realized that the behavior of the kids wasn't considered spoiled behavior in much of America, but fairly normal "child-like" behavior.  Especially on television and commercials.  This was the behavior of kids who were entitled.  Even though Muslim, they acted just like privileged American kids.  (Of course, not all American kids act this way--)

    Even though I have been to Africa, something about this trip gave me a much deeper perspective on the affluence we have in America and the downside of affluence.  I came home to my little dog and remembered how few pets I saw in Turkey.  They had some dogs (pretty mangy looking) and most of the cats were feral.  Having a pet seemed to be in a similar category of extravagence as a car or boat. 

    Finally, even if some of the Muslims in Turkey are not as strict in their religious practice and "sin" by drinking alcohol occasionally or not praying consistently, there is a constant reminder of "God" through the call to prayer five times a day.  Even if you aren't Muslim, this call to prayer has a pavlovian effect of engaging awareness.  The chanting music has an impact and breaks your thoughts for a moment.  Even if you aren't a "believer", there is a pause from the grind of your own mind.  A reflection of where you are and wondering what is happening right now.  The budhists call this a "darma bell" - waking a person up to the moment.  This is the opposite of what I experience in American culture with our technology, advertising, music and the consumer-driven world we have created.

    In Feldenkrais work, people are learning to feel again, to wake up to sensing their bodies and world around themselves.  I remember a Greek man asking me, "Do a lot of Americans do psychotherapy?"  I said that there were quite a few people who did and he said, "In Greece we don't have this very much-- people talk here--- you don't hold your feelings in, there is always someone to talk to and get that stuff out of your chest.  We cry, we laugh, we're sad-- we talk immediately when these things happen.  We talk every day to each other.  Of course, there are a few people who need more help, but this is how we are."  And I could see the difference.  Perhaps when people live so much closer together, they have to talk and express themselves more.  I hope our American culture can grow more to have this kind of community and connection with one another.  While the standard of living in Turkey may be much lower than ours, I wonder if there aren't a lot of other ways their standard is higher.

    Well, these are my musings and I hope I haven't offended anyone. 

    Until next time,

    Cheers!